


i find it kinda funny, i find it kinda sad

by lostinadreamnow



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Implied Suicide Attempt, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, dont worry theres a happy ending, lowercase intended because i can, p much a vent fic, title is from mad world - gary jules
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-05-13 08:35:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19247608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostinadreamnow/pseuds/lostinadreamnow
Summary: tooru's been acting strange as of lately.





	i find it kinda funny, i find it kinda sad

tooru's been acting weird as of lately. 

he hasn't been teasing any of the team, hasn't been smiling or laughing, and when he comes in, he looks tired and his eyes are rimmed with red, like he's been crying. 

unfortunately, he's fucking stubborn, and won't tell anyone what's wrong. 

—

it's a tuesday afternoon, and tooru stumbles into the gym, cheek swollen and with a black eye. instantly, the gym goes quiet. he brushes off any inquiries and quietly grabs his clothes, heading to the bathroom to change. when he comes out, he's wearing leggings under his shorts and a long sleeved shirt under the jersey. 

that's the first red flag. 

everyone is really concerned, especially since their captain has never acted like this, but practise continues on as normal, except tooru doesn't talk much, just sets whenever he needs to.

in the locker room, hajime looks for tooru, deflating a bit when he doesn't see the setter come in. issei looks at him and pats his back comfortingly, a frown on his usually stoic face. the atmosphere is tense and heavy; no jokes from issei and takahiro, no quips from the other team members, it's all silent. 

—

it's darker than usual when hajime finally starts walking home. he'd waited there for tooru to come out, brows furrowing and frowning in disappointment until he's eventually forced to leave. the streets are dark and it's raining, which really rubs salt in the wound. 

eventually, he stumbles into his house, kicking his wet shoes off and placing them beside the door, then stripping off his soaked jacket and hoodie. he didn't bother showering; he only grabbed fresh briefs and towel-dried, then curled up under the stupid godzilla comforter tooru bought him for his birthday. 

as expected, he doesn't get much sleep. his mind's racing with thoughts of his childhood friend, wondering how he is. hajime knows tooru overworks himself a lot, and since tooru's been avoiding him, he has no idea what the brunet's been doing recently.

it _scares_ him.

—

the next few months of practise are the same. even the head coach asks hajime what's up with their setter.

"he seems to be more.. robotic, now." nobuteru mutters, and hajime hesitantly agrees, because it's true. tooru seems more like a robot now. "he doesn't even interact with his fans anymore, iwaizumi. please, help him. or at least find out what's wrong."

hajime nods, shaking away tears as he steps back onto the court, giving side glances to the setter. _'he'll be okay. he's stronger than he seems.'_ he tells himself, but deep down, he knows it's a lie. sure, tooru is strong, but he's not okay, it's obvious.

—

it's the day tooru doesn't come to practise that hajime _really_ starts thinking something is majorly wrong. nothing stops tooru from coming to practise, _nothing._

hajime keeps staring at the door to the gym, hoping, praying for tooru to walk through the door, for him to be _okay,_ but he knows deep down that won't happen. his phone buzzes in the middle of a practise match with the first years, and he digs it out of his pocket, eyes widening at the simple message displayed across the screen.

_ >> hajime, help me_

hajime looks at the coaches and immediately leaves, running to tooru's house. he knew it. there's something wrong and he was too _stupid_ to recognise the signs. brief flashes of their childhood springs into his mind as he sprints down the street, cold wind brushing his face. 

when they first met, tooru was your average child. a whiny crier, but braver than anyone hajime had the luck to know. maybe that's why hajime promised tooru he'd keep him safe when they were younger. the way tooru's face lit up with _pure happiness_ after hajime said those words almost broke his heart. 

he shakes the memories away and bursts into tooru's house, looking around. 

the first place he thinks of checking is the setter's bedroom, and the sight makes him cry. tears stream down his face, dripping off his cheeks as he reaches out to his best friend, his boyfriend, the one he'd spend every moment with, the one who's _currently lying on the floor, motionless, a puddle of blood seeping out from underneath him._

"oh god," hajime cries, pressing his lips to tooru's forehead, the smiling aliens on tooru's purple sheets mocking him. his hands are shaking, but he still gets his phone out and calls the police. 

—

they let him ride to the hospital with tooru, and he feels slightly comforted by the steady rise and fall of the brunet's chest. he's forced to separate, however, when they reach the building, and with a gentle, lingering kiss to tooru's forehead, he steps out of the ambulance, watching as they wheel tooru inside the hospital.

he stays in the dull waiting room, repeatedly grabbing cups of coffee. the bitter drink burns the roof of his mouth, but it's just to make sure he doesn't sleep. his leg bounces endlessly, until he pulls both legs onto the stiff and uncomfortable chair, sipping his ninth cup of the shitty coffee. 

it's only when he's about to doze off, after three hours of sitting in the highly uncomfortable chair, does the nurse give him permission to see tooru. 

he shoots up like a rocket, waiting patiently for her to give him the room number before quickly making his way to the room. 

tooru's there, he's _there,_ he'll be okay. hajime can't help but silently sob as he takes a seat in the chair next to tooru's hospital bed, reaching out with a surprisingly steady hand and intertwining their fingers. 

tooru's eyes flicker open and the sound that rips out of hajime's throat sounds like an aborted sob, it's broken but surprisingly clear, and hajime hesitantly cups tooru's cheek, whispering the same promise he made when they were kids.

"i'll always be here for you, tooru, i'll always protect you, and i'm sorry i wasn't there for you these last few months," he kisses the setter softly, just a gentle brush of their lips, before pulling back, resting his forehead on tooru's. 

"i-i love you so much, iwa-chan," tooru mumbles, voice raspy and cracking. "i'm sorry i didn't tell you what's been happening, i thought they'd stop, but they didn't, and i just couldn't handle it any more.. i regretted it the moment it happened.." 

"don't apologise, tooru, you're so strong, i'm here to protect you, always." hajime murmurs. tooru's eyes slip closed, and hajime kisses his forehead, watching his boyfriend's chest rise and fall. it's comforting, and he lays his head on his arm, eyes growing heavier every second. eventually, he falls asleep, hand still intertwined with tooru's. 

—

he wakes up to tooru gently brushing his hair out his face, thumb caressing his cheek lovingly. he sits up and yawns, popping his neck before leaning over and pressing his lips to tooru's, softly. 

"they say i'll be let out sometime this week, but i'll have to go to therapy because of what happened.." tooru's voice is soft, and hajime almost cries because _holy shit, he's missed that voice._

"good, good.. that's good. if you want, i'll come with you to therapy.." tooru beams, eyes sparkling with happiness and his bright smile gracing his face. hajime is so lucky to have this literal angel as a boyfriend, though he can be a little brat at times. 

"you would?" hajime nods, and it's tooru who kisses him first. hajime smiles and kisses back, their lips fitting together like two pieces of a puzzle. "thanks, iwa-chan."

"anything for you, tooru." hajime grins, tears of joy streaming down his face, and tooru cries with him.

**Author's Note:**

> i don't know how to end things snfnf 
> 
> okay but seriously, if you or anyone you know is going through something like this, please help them. this was kinda like a vent fic for me, tbh. but just, don't let it get far at all. there are hotlines for this stuff, it doesn't matter what type of abuse it is, it's still abuse, and you still need to tell someone.


End file.
